Light unto my path

Psalms 119:105 ~ Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.

Am I on the right path? Am I doing what God has asked me to do? Did I miss a turn somewhere?

At one point in my walk with God I was in full time ministry. I was serving God every waking moment, there was no aspect of my life that was not His and was not consumed by doing His work. In 2010 I felt God leading me to move back home from the mission field. It was an agonizing decision. I prayed over it long and hard. I quite honestly had a great deal of turmoil over it until I made the decision to come home. The moment I made the decision, my spirit was filled with peace and joy. The world I knew changed very drastically in a very short period of time. Within 6 months I had a new career, a new husband, and a new stepdaughter. My everyday focus on God was divided and the ministry that I had given everything into was pushed to the background. There have been times over the past 12 years that I second guessed my decision. I think, “what would my life had been like if I had not moved back home? Would I still be in full time ministry?” But then I think of the blessings I live in every day. My family is a given. I am so overwhelmed at the blessing of having people that I can call mine. If that was all God had given to me, I would consider that alone as having lived a blessed life. You add to that the ministry I’ve been able to be involved with in my church and the women that I am able to work with and the amazing things God has us involved with and I really can’t count my blessings. Each and every time those thoughts come in my mind about a path not taken, I take just a moment and turn to my God and ask, “Did I make the right choices?” He gently reminds me that He is the lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path and as long as I stay obedient and willing to do whatever He asks of me I will never veer from the plan He has for my life. Doubt comes and if we leave those doubts unattended it can grow into discontent and fear of failure.

My pastor preached on the stagnant Christian recently. He based it on the passage in Numbers 13-14 when Caleb and the other spies came back to tell the Israelites what they had found in Cannon. Fear caused an entire generation to miss out on the amazing promise that God had given to them. Their lack of faith in the God that had already provided amazing miracles to them, caused them to stop right in their tracks and say, “no, we are not going any further.” How many of us have done that? How many of us know that God is leading us into something amazing, but our fear and lack of faith causes us to freeze in one spot?

My biggest fear is to get to heaven and God shows me all the things He had planned to bless me with but was unable to do so because of my lack of obedience. I want to know when I cross over into glory and I see my Savior face to face that I walked every path, no matter how scary, that He asked me to walk. I don’t want to cringe at the thought that I missed something. I don’t want to know that my God had an opportunity for me to glorify His name and I refused to take the step of faith needed to fulfill that request. My prayer for all of us is that we take a moment today and ask God, “What is it that you want me to do? Is there something that I said no to, that You are waiting on me to say yes to?” May our Lord and Savior be the lamp unto our feet and our love for Him push us to follow where He leads.